Obsessive guilt is often caused by obsessions regarding exaggerated responsibility.
Click on the link above for the full article.
See, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT just excessive washing of the hands, or excessive counting and rituals…it’s also just like my post yesterday When a Mistake Takes on Monumental Proportions http://addpositively.wordpress.com/2014/03/03/when-a-mistake…al-proportions/
In yesterdays’ post I listed the results of my one moment of inattention which resulted in the chaos I have been living through for 4 days.
Someone said I was not responsible for the ensuing troubles after the vehicle was no longer functioning.
But here’s the thing…with OCD irrational worrisome thoughts, although unwanted, can become firmly entrenched beliefs. While I know on some level that these thoughts are senseless and often irrational, I cannot put the brakes on my thoughts or emotions right away.
So I live with the excessive guilt, anxiety, insomnia, nausea, and general “beating myself up” until things start to come to a solution.
Case in point, daughter arrived home safe and sound, rental car returned undamaged with no extra charges and grandchildren had a great time while visiting.
Hubby will be returning home this evening.
I got some sleep last night so in the light of day I am able to rationalize the irrational responsibility I felt for all of the sequence of events.
Granted, there is still some residual guilt and anxiety just waiting to come back to the surface as the bills for this fiasco come rolling in.
But for now, things are calmer and my house is clean, top to bottom.
I had to do something to keep myself from going insane, so I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned.
Too funny. It’s the only times my house gets so clean:)
So, as an ADDer, making an error causes a lot of anxiety, so I try to avoid making mistakes as much as humanly possible.
This really means I do very little and the majority of my days are spent at home. Alone.
But last week my daughter and the kids wanted to come spend a week but her vehicle is too unreliable to make a 12 hour drive. So hubby went to get them. It was a fantastic week until I took them to see the alpacas on Friday.
As I was leaving I somehow managed to get my Suzuki on top of a rock in that driveway. One moment of inattention created the following series of events:
1. Had to call CAA to get me off the rock. The steel bar underneath the Suzuki was pushed up causing the transmission to be pushed up into the floor of the vehicle. Vehicle now undrivable, that bar must be replaced and has to be ordered from out of this country as Suzuki is no longer in Canada. So, no vehicle until then, and no one can say how long it will take or how many thousands it will cost.
2. There are no rental cars available here on the island and my daughter has to get back home to her life. They were supposed to leave last Saturday but ended up leaving today.
3. We rented her a car from the mainland, one way to her home town, for $800.00 and she could only pick it up today, Monday.
4. Some people were generous enough to lend us their van so hubby could take her and the kids to the mainland and get that car so they could begin their long 12 hour drive.
5. Halfway across the Bay of Fundy the alarms went off on the ferry, the sound of the motor changed and they slowed down enough to double the crossing time. Everyone was very nervous on the ferry.
6. Once off the ferry they were told they would not be able to come back to the island until tomorrow. Night. Tomorrow night. So hubby had to rent a room somewhere and find a way to kill all this time. Without spending more money.
7. Hubby was supposed to work tomorrow. The borrowed vehicle was supposed to go to the mechanic tomorrow too. Neither of those things will happen.
8. My daughter and I and my granddaughter all got a grand total of 3 hours sleep last night.
9. At this point I suspect I will never sleep again.
SO, can you understand why and ADDer dreads a mistake. One tiny moment of inattention, a single motion done without focus, can cause chaos to a whole chain of people and cost thousands of dollars.
Life quickly spins out of control.
It sucks to be me in these moments:(
But fewer people realize that each one of these simple-sounding ADHD symptoms can present itself in a number of different ways (and severities) from one person to the other.
Just some logical advice on where to start after your diagnosis. Because after the elation and wonder caused by knowing there is a name for what’s been “up” with you all those years, you will feel the need to know more and maybe see if you can be fixed LOL
BTW…there is no fix, but there are ways to cope better than you have been.
+ Free Webinar – Emotional Hypersensitivity with Dr. Roberto Olivardia – Register Now! – firstname.lastname@example.org – Gmail
People with ADHD are noted to be emotionally hypersensitive. The result? A deep difficulty regulating their feelings. We can feel what we feel. ADHD and OMG. And it’s exhausting for everyone.
“Some adults with ADHD become depressed for no obvious reason—the condition strikes even in the absence of unpleasant life circumstances or events (difficulties at work or in school, job loss, relationship problems, chronic illness, and so on). Risk for this form of depression, known as primary depression, seems to be largely inherited.”
Click the link above to read the good news and the bad news:)
My 2 cents worth:
NEVER, EVER let anyone convince you of a “depression diagnosis” when there is NO SADNESS inside you.
I let a doctor bully me into treating depression with antidepressants when I was sure I was not depressed in the least. My moods were fleetingly dark caused by setbacks NOT pervasive and chronic. I was somewhat lethargic caused by boredom not depression. My sleep problems changed from unable to get to sleep to unable to stay asleep…the change occurred after menopause. I was not full of negative thoughts upon waking, just annoyance that I was awake.
The differences are subtle, very, very subtle, and you must listen to your inner voice that tells you NO, it is not depression. Treat the ADHD, and forget the anti-depressants…make a deal with an insistent doctor that if there is no change with the ADD meds you will revisit the depression diagnosis.
ADD Women and Girls: Late Diagnosis, Little Treatment | ADDitude – Attention Deficit Information & Resources
One of the key reasons girls are so often overlooked is that they exhibit hyperactivity differently than boys, oftentimes a chatty girl is just regarded as a motormouth.
click on the link above to get more info and read the full article
Ladies, you are NOT stupid, crazy or lazy…and you know it!
Some medication info you may find useful to quiet some of your worries. Click on the link below to get the full 13 questions and answers. My 2 cents worth….once you’ve tried all types of these meds and the side effects are still intolerable…get off the meds and learn to manage your most troublesome symptoms with therapy and coaching. IT CAN BE DONE! After all, you’ve lived this long without the meds and you are still reasonably whole, right? LOL
Most side effects of stimulant medications should resolve in three to five days (with the exception of appetite suppression). Side effects that the patient finds intolerable, or those that last longer than three to five days, warrant a call to your clinician.
people may show many of the symptoms associated with ADHD for many different reasons. That’s why a careful diagnostic workup is so important. I commend Dr. Saul for pointing this out in his book. A more accurate title, though not nearly as sensational, might have been, ADHD Is Not Always What It Seems to Be.
To me, this book just proves that anyone can justify anything in their heads…some put it in writing and go to great lengths to persuade others to believe their point of view.
It does not mean it is the absolute truth…it just means it is their opinion.
I score 15 out of 15 on this test.
Click on the link and take the test. Don’t worry, no one will know the results unless you share them:)
Women with the disorder tend to be less hyperactive and impulsive, more disorganized, scattered, forgetful, and introverted. \”Theyve alternately been anxious or depressed for years,\” Littman says. \”Its this sense of not being able to hold everything together.\” Further, while a decrease in symptoms at puberty is common for boys, the opposite is true for girls, whose symptoms intensify.
This is a description particularly true of many, many women of all ages. Me included. Click on the link to read the entire article which dispels the myth that you cannot be smart AND have ADD!