(semi-burned) Caramelized Onions

Since there is no qualifier such as "good cook" "gourmet cook" etc. I will be able to say Yes to this question. However, I will be honest enough to say that I would not cook for others or expect my family to survive on my cooking exclusively.

In my house, my husband and son are great cooks.

Me, I'm a scary cook.

First off, the kitchen is a room that I could live without. Fact of the matter is I would totally eliminate this room from my home if left to my own devices. When I had my own apartment my cupboards were bare and the refrigerator had a couple of beer in it, left by someone but certainly not me that put them in there. I never went into that room. Not once. I think my roommate did though. Can't really remember.

Now that I am a grown woman with raising my children behind me, I still find the kitchen to be a place of constant danger for me. There are a lot of sharp objects, breakable objects and hot objects. Danger danger everywhere.

You got it. I am prone to cutting myself, dropping things and burning stuff. An accident waiting to happen. That's me. Except the accident never waits and always happens.

Then there is the intense amount of stress that working in the kitchen produces. To cook a full balanced meal that is tasty you must pay attention to what you are doing…focus is the name of the game. Even though I can focus now thanks to my medication, focusing on cooking induces a great deal of stress. Plus the added fun of cleaning up the damn mess afterwards. And not getting blood in the food is always desirable!

By the time the food is ready to eat I have to go outside and decompress. Then I can eat.

I also find that to make a great meal you must be somewhat organized and be able to estimate the length of time it will take…2 of my major challenges in life. I almost always forget to check the ingredient list for the recipe so I find myself "improvising" ingredient substitutes all the time. Sometimes it works. Most times…NOT. Then, the timing is a mystery, even when almost all recipes give an timeline such as "cook for 30 minutes @ 350F" prep time will be about 30 minutes as well, serve piping hot etc. allow yourself 1 hour to prepare …none of these time estimates take into account the time it takes me to 1. mop up the blood, 2. wrap the wound with paper towel 3. find the damn band aids 4. disinfect the wound 5. find the disinfectant 6. remember what I was doing before I was so rudely interrupted when that knife/broken glass/dish attacked me.

And then, there is the concentration it takes to actually cook something in a pan on the burner. Has to be watched constantly…boring! Maintaining focus and not forgetting about whatever is cooking on top of the stove is a challenge to say the least.

Let's just say there is never a need to "annually check the smoke detectors" in my house.

I do have to replace the batteries a lot though.

Plus, I really fear kitchen fires.

Once, something was on fire on my stovetop when I lived in a basement suite. I ran upstairs, woke up the family to have them leave because of the flames shooting out of the pot downstairs. THere baby's room was just above my kitchen!

The lady came downstairs (I refused to go back in), calmly put out the fire and patted me on the head…saying I had a good heart and meant well.

I still don't know what she meant by that.