Many people believe starting a new business venture, career or anything that has to do with making money is gambling, risky and dangerous to their well-being.
I beg to differ.
Money is a commodity, easily gained and just as easily lost. Not a big deal to me.
What is a big deal? What is risky to me?
Leaving your comfort zone, moving far, far away from you contacts, family and loved ones. Leaving behind your mental security net is risky. All those people you depend on when you are down and out to help pick yourself up again and move forward.
Have you ever thought how you would get through tough times without your network of peeps?
With no one to encourage you.
No one to believe in you.
No one to love you.
Isn’t that the biggest risk of all?
It is not so easy to replace friendships and loved ones. It takes years if not a lifetime.
So what is my point?
We moved to our dream location…our current dream location (because this is not the first time we’ve re-located ourselves across a country). It’s risky because we only have each other…we must be everything to each other. Lovers, friends, entertainer, problem solver and so on.
I had no fear of this unknown. I still have no fear now that I am here.
How can that be? Me, so fearful of so many things, yet so daring when it comes to something so huge.
I trust my husband with my life.
I trust that he will not let me down.
I trust that he will move heaven and earth trying to live up to that trust.
I wonder if he feels the same?:)
I was interested to learn about how much pressure and stress I’m under with all that I have going on at the same time.
Not too awfully bad…my score is 178 which falls in the moderate range.
Score of 150-299: Risk of illness is moderate
Score of <150: Only a slight risk of illness
While a positive event for many people, retirement is considered the 10th most stressful event.Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/92809-five-major-causes-stress/#ixzz21GmaZn8P
Any type of major change in your life, either good or bad, can cause stress. Examples of major life changes include: getting fired, changing jobs, starting or ending a relationship, divorce, getting married, buying a home, relocating, starting or finishing school, starting a family or having kids leave the home, being a victim of a crime, spending time in jail, retirement, mid-life crisis, or menopause.
1. Take the time to adjust. If experiencing a major change, take it easy. Don’t take actions that heap additional changes on top of it. Just concentrate on learning to live with the new situation. TOO LATE, GOT LOTS OF CHANGES HAPPENING ALL AT THE SAME TIME:)
2. Express your feelings. Willingness to express feelings and reach out for help when under pressure will increase chances of remaining healthy. Do not keep your feelings bottled up. OK, BE PREPARED FOR SOME EMOTIONAL POSTS ROFL
3. Let your personality be your guide. If highly ambitious, aggressive, always in a hurry to get things done, try to take life a little more calmly. Be less competitive in sports and outside activities as well as on the job. However, this doesn’t mean you should spend a do-nothing weekend after a pressure filled week or take a long vacation after a major life change or period of stress. That sudden turn off may be worse for you than having something to do. Or, you may be the easy-going type being less competitive. You worry less and don’t allow the clock to drive you. If so, you might suffer ill effects by doing what comes naturally-withdrawing during periods of heavy stress or intense competition. Actually, you might do better by being more active than usual; keeping somewhat busier to avoid becoming depressed. Both types should seek to alter their usually behaviour gradually and strive to be a bit more like the other. I AM BOTH TYPES COMBINED ! OH-OH
4. Consider the impact of life changes when making decisions. i.e. say your life change score is high and you’re offered a new job in a different line of work. It would mean moving and a different schedule with new people around you. One alternative would be to avoid the life change and stay where you are. The other would be to take the job and make a point to avoid additional stressful situations and take particular care of your health for the next 2 years. By knowing how much stress you are under-including that from pleasant events-you are better able to make well-timed decisions and take good care of yourself when you are under a high degree of pressure. 2 YEARS? I CAN BARELY MANAGE 2 MINUTES! GUESS WHAT MY NEXT 2 YEARS WILL BE ALL ABOUT?
OK. My townhouse is for sale and we are waiting for advisement on whether the people who made the offer got their financing or not.
I still need to pack.
I need to start finding out all the address changes I need to do.
5 more weeks of work.
6 more weeks til I move!
Should I be stressed?
I’m told I should.
I’m told most people would be basket cases.
I haven’t noticed anything different.
Except…I’m distracted and have trouble pulling myself back into the moment.
And my eczema is back…this time on my elbows and upper back.
And, my birthday is coming up real soon:)
Wonder what I asked for:)
Ha! The day after I attended the webinar on how to overcome OVERWHELM I called in sick, stayed home and cleaned out my closet.
Got rid of 1 bag of trash and 2 bags of stuff to donate to Goodwill.
Go figure why so much crap accumulates in a closet!
Anyway, the following is some notes on the Overwhelm webinar: (the bold words are hers and the italics are my ideas)
Stress Management = ADD/ADHD Management
Slow Down-do something relaxing like reading a book or just write in your journal, anything that actually relaxes you (not games on the computer, tv or anything like that). Daily relaxation, 30 minutes only, is a must. I only read exciting engaging books, which is not relaxing:(
Being vs Doing – there is no law that says you must be absolutely DOING something at all times. My brain is always going and doesn’t shut off, even when I’m sleeping!
- Sleep-good restful sleep
- Nutrition-incorporate fish + seafood, bright colourful vegetables, nuts and olive oil into your diet. I wouldn’t eliminate the things you currently love to eat I would just add something from this list to every meal.
- Engage in your interests even if you don’t do them well but still derive pleasure from them.
- Challenge yourself by learning something new or master something you like but do poorly.
- Express yourself through art, music or writing. Without editing.
Control your Responses to Stress by
- Taking a step back-hard to do in the moment
- Breathing, stretching or walking…even all three if needed.
- Get calm and centered. Have I ever been calm and centered?
OK, so I need to work on step 1, big time. Can someone get me a big flashing light and attach it to my stress response?
All part of self-awareness, I know. I have no idea I’m stressed until it’s too late. I’m already reacting physically and emotionally to whatever has caused this great big stress response in me. I know, I know…I need BIGcues to recognize small things. By the time I realize that I am stressed-out, it’s too late to do anything but react.
The time to cut off the source of stress has long past and I’m at the mercy of whatever physical reaction my body is having which in turn triggers an emotional response. Usually anger. At myself. For not recognizing what was happening to me. From frustration at missing the clues once again. Then I berate myself for not getting it…something so damn easy and I miss it completely. Totally unaware that the situation, the same situation, will make me bug out. That’s right, in retrospect, I know it’s everyday situations that I do not excel at but continue to attempt and fail each time that frustrates me. I realize the difference between symptom and behaviour…symptoms of ADHD cannot be changed but behaviour CANBE CHANGED. I keep trying to accomplish something simple, something normal people do without a second thought, but keep failing, which just pisses me off.
Hard headed…sure, I get that. Intellectually I get it. But the combination of childhood conditioning, tenacity and willfullness along with forgetfulness has put the habit of keep trying until it happens into my DNA. I even am smart enough to try different ways to accomplish those mundane tasks that frustrate me so much. Alas, it just doesn’t happen for me. I lose. Yet again. I hate that. So much.
What to do? I’m not really sure.
The tip says to recognize when my body starts to feel the stress, tightened muscles is a big one.
Ha! Tightened muscles are an all day thing for me. All day and all night. I’m pretty tensed up most of the time. As a matter of fact, I cannot identify a time or moment when my body is relaxed. Even when I’m sleeping my body is tense and my sleep is restless. I used to follow that popular trick all the experts push all the time…deliberately tense up each individual muscle, starting at your toesand working your way up to the top of your head. Tense it up, relax, tense, relax moving up and up until your body relaxes.
To be honest, it worked for a short time. Ok. It worked a couple of times. Then, when I would tense a part of my foot, it would cramp up. Yikes! Painful! Not only was it painful but disruptive to any kind of relaxation that may happen in bed.
Toes curling in agony I’d be rolling off the bed to hit the floor and try to massage that foot cramp out so my toes would uncurl, swearing and whining to boot. Funny? Oh yeah, it’s funny. At the same time, it frustrates me.
Now, I just don’t bother trying to relax the muscles in my body. I’m content with relaxing the brain muscle so I can fall asleep. That has become my top priority in life…sleeping.
Sleeping is good. Sleeping is great. Sleeping is the best thing since sliced bread.
Can I skip step 1 and move on to step 2? We’ll see next time.
Yesterday I finally had work to do!!!
And my stuff arrived from my previous work location!
And I had SO MUCH energy I whizzed through the work, emptied the large container of stuff, sorted and put away, with half of it going to recycling. AMAZING!
And, my desk decor is uncluttered, with pictures of hubby, children, grandchildren and a fabulous family photo of me and my siblings that makes me laugh every time I glance at it, neatly hung in my cubicle:)
Remains to be seen whether the work was done correctly.
After 2 hours of working I forced myself to take a break, power walked a few blocks to Starbucks, bought a latte and power walked back to the office.
On the train home I experienced an overwhelming need to close my eyes, feeling suddenly completely drained. It was over before I reached my stop.
I was full of energy for the afternoon, created an impromptu stir fry for supper because I forgot to take meat out of the freezer for hubby’s supper. It was actually delicious.
I did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen at 8pm…it has been my habit to do this in the early morning hours when I get up.
I had read a tip in the ADDitude online magazine that to ensure my morning routine was simple and less stressful I needed to complete as much as possible the evening before. So, taking it to heart I did just that. We’ll see how it goes when I leave this morning.
Did I mention I have itchy knees-front and back of them, elbows and ankles? So itchy I scratch ’til I bleed. I am not using any new products and I was so mad at the doctors I forgot to mention it.
I’ll mention it for sure next Wednesday.
Driving me batty!
Oh. I forgot to mention a moment at the doctor’s office that struck me as kinda funny.
Doc says”Ok. You win.”
I say “It’s not a contest.”
He says “No? I thought it was.” while he glances up at me.
Then with of look of apology says…
“Sorry. You’re right. It’s not a contest.”
I sure wish I could have seen the look on my face that prompted him to back off like that.
I’d perfect it and use it to death I’m sure.
Any shopping trip stresses me out and this morning I had to go to Wal-Mart.
They had an iHomeon sale for $78.00 and I had to pick up a mattress protector thingy plus a couple of fitted queen size sheets (because I did not think of the added expense of all the bedding from the king sized bed would be too big for the queen!). Anyway…
All was well upon arrival at the mall, stores still closed except for Wal-Mart and no people in sight…yeah!
Wal-Mart was empty too. I headed straight to the electronics department, was greeted by a friendly gentleman who proceeded to annoy me by not knowing where to find the iHome I was looking for. I just wandered away from him after him taking me to 2 different spots where it wasn’t and found it myself. Then I had to show him where I had found it. Because it was where I thought it would be, using logic and my having worked in retail once upon a time…stuff he should have known as well.
THEN, he annoyed me further because he did not know how to work the cash registerand appeared to find it difficult to find SOMEONE in the vicinity that did! Finally, someone arrived, I paid, had to ask for one of those red stickers showing that it was paid for and headed off to the bedding department.
I quickly found the mattress protector and there was only one kind to choose from. Easy peasy!
Next. Fitted sheets. Not so easy. SO many choices, so many prices and qualities. Thread counts. Colours. For shits sake!!! Decisions, decisions.
Make a f@#*ing decision already!
Instead of just a fitted sheet I took a whole set, dark grey. Tripled checked that I had picked up the queen size. Headed for the check out.
While I was paying the cashier was talking to me. About what I really couldn’t say. She had a very thick accent and I was not really paying attention. My answer was “I didn’t understand what you said but if it will cost me any money the answer is no.”
Paid. Used my own bags. Put my stuff in my own bags myself. She didn’t look like it was a pleasure to serve me.
OK! I’m done. Just one more thing and then I can go home.
I’m going home. Right now.
The bottoms of my feet hurt.
Yes, I wore my new boots. How the hell was I supposed to know it would take me almost 2 freakin’ hours to run this quick little errand?!
Finally. Home. I cannot take off my boots fast enough. I’m sweating and tired and trying to take off my coat before my cross body bag.
Drop my bags on the living room floor.
Let Boo go outside.
I need a drink.
Shit. It’s only 10:45 AM.
Guess the drink will have to wait.
Now I’m thinking “How do I put some positivity to this?”
Only one way.
I’m positive I’m not going shopping again anytime soon:)
There are an astounding amount of similarities between the Type A personality and a person with ADD/ADHD. So many, in fact, that for the casual observer one could be mistaken for the other very easily.
ADD/ADHDer: easily frustrated waiting in line, interrupt others often, walk and talk at super-sonic speed, have no sense of time and are always late for something:)
2) Type A – Free-Floating Hostility/Aggression: impatient, rude, short-fuse, easily upset over every little thing.
ADD/ADHDer: impatient with anything and anyone that moves slower than their brains, quickly upset over seemingly nothing at all because they are easily distracted and have difficulty transitioning/remembering what they were doing before the distraction, short-fused because they are often misunderstood and often considered rude because they lack “social graces”.
3) Type A – often competitive and strongly achievement-orientated.
ADD/ADHDer – often non-competitive because of lack of focus and years of failure and strong focus on everything they cannot get accomplished.
The giant difference between the Type A and the ADDer is control. That Adder is at the mercy of his disorder, relying on medication for just a small amount of ability to control what’s happening in their heads. Hyper-focus can be directed towards one goal, however, breaking out of that hyper-focus mode is just not done. When forced to stop what they are doing and prevented from going back to it, the obsessiveness will quickly take over their minds.
ADDers will always battle with those thought patterns. They can perhaps learn how to fake it, but it will always remain faking it.
Type A people will develop some physical traits from prolonged Type A behaviour: tense faces, grinding their teeth, dark circles under their eyes, consistent sweaty brow or sweaty upper lip, stiff posture. They will develop hypertension, heart disease and many job stress related health problems, social isolationbecause they won’t take the time to develop any real relationships outside of work.
ADDers do not share physical traits. They come from all walks of life, as diverse as snowflakes and often have what is called a co-morbid disorder i.e. SPD, depression, anxiety etc.
Personality traits are innate while Type A traits are reactionary to their environments, influenced by culture and structure.
It is recommended for Type A personalities to JOURNAL , keep track of how many times in the day they lost it, are rude and frustrated with the goal being to get them to recognize the triggers and change those patterns. They are encouraged to write about their feelings so they can process, identify and control them. They are encouraged to deliberately place themselves in the “frustrating situations” repeatedly until they can show themselves they will survive waiting in line for a few minutes. They are taught how to breathe, deeply and slowly. They are shown how to take care of a dog so they can reap the benefits of relaxing, exercising and socializing with those pets. They are encouraged to get outdoors more often to reduce stress and learn to take it easy.
Keeping a journal to record your feelings is probably the most recommend exercise of all time. Writing about your feelings is conducive to slowing down, connecting to yourself and seeing that pattern of your thoughts. An ADDer would have to write continuously throughout the day as things happen because they will forget if they wait! Just a fact of the disorder.
If an ADDer puts themselves in frustrating situations repeatedly they will make no progress whatsoever…after all, it is what put them in that downward spiral…constant failure with the little things is not a self-confidence builder. Oftentimes, being a pet owner is just another source of guilt…forgetting to feed the dog, remembering the water to replace the stale water for fresh once in a while and not knowing the last time you went for a walk with the dog is just plain negligent. Poor puppy:(
In conclusion, I say “NO NO NO”, Type A personalities and ADDers are not even remotely similar!
What do you think?
After reading ellisinwonderland’s post last night with the link to the annoying xmas commercial I could not let the opportunity go by without expressing my opinion. That’s what happens with us opinionated types, we’ve got something vital to say on just about every subject in the world LOL That littlewoods commercial is very annoying indeed. On so many levels, some deep and some superficial. No matter, it’s a horrible commercial. As are most commercials. Radio commercials seem worse than television commercials to me, for the most part. After all, commercials on television are sort, fast, flashy, sometimes shiny and bright; all things that catch my attention, like a magpie, shiny and bright always gets me in the end.
Here in Canada, there are only a few Christmas commercials running regularly on the networks and all are U.S.A. born and bred; T Mobile 4g (which makes me think they are talking about something like “orgy”, Toys R Us (who are attempting to cash in on some old commercials from way back in their campaign of nostalgia) and last but not least Coca Cola’s self-promotion on how they are “saving” the polar bear. Yes, that’s right, the same polar bear they have exploited for a very long time now! Anyway, I could quickly digress to saving animals, the environment, ourselves etc. but not really where I want to go right now.
I quickly read an article this early AM in ADDitude magazine about Holiday Blues, Holiday Stress, what do to about it, how to manage it, blah blah blah. Basically what they say is what all articles say about this time of year and all the issues people have during this year-end madness of celebrations. First and foremost, they all talk about “changing your expectations of the season.” This is the one and only important point for me in any tip or trick on managing stress etc. What DO you expect from the holidays? Are you trying to recapture some elusive “good feeling” “happiness” or “comfort” that you think you remember having from your childhood? Are you religious? Are you greedy and want lots of presents but just never seem to get enough? I can’t answer those questions for you, I can only tell you what I’ve done to make this season a pretty major non-event for me.
Holiday nostalgia is a non-issue for me. I can’t remember most of my childhood and what little bits I do remember were not flooded with happiness and light. So, I was never looking for anything that could be associated with recapturing any good feelings from times past.
Religion is a generally touchy subject for the world so I will apologize for my opinions on this in advance. For anyone offended by others that are not religious, please skip this paragraph, because you really don’t want to know what I have to say. I was “raised” Catholic, went to church every Sunday, attended Sunday school after mass to earn the stars on the forehead every week for memorizing bible passages, made my First Communion and Confirmation. The few pictures I’ve ever seen of myself as a young child on Sundays are not of me smiling…ever. My brows are furrowed (6 years old!), my forehead is tensed and deep lines are already forming (5 years old) and I’m standing/sitting/kneeling stiffly like a good little soldier. What I really remember is having a hard time with the nuns and priests, always being in trouble for questioning the word of God and always being punished for it. When I was 12, we moved to a fairly remote area, my mother married a Baptist/Protestant/whatever he wasn’t Catholic and the nearest Catholic church was not anywhere we could reach under a 2 hour drive. So, the country folk in that area would pick us up and bring us along with them to their church. I went to the Sunday morning service, Sunday school, Wednesday evening bible studies, summer bible camps, church sponsored anything and everything. At this point in my life it was just to get away from my mother and out of the madhouse we lived in. Nothing more. I was pretty sure at that point that this organized religion, churches of any kind or denomination and the almighty pious people of the world were way wrong about what they were supposed to be doing and believing. It was all make-believe and they were fooling themselves into believing cause they needed that crutch to get through life. I was cool with that, accepting their need for that but very insulted that they wouldn’t accept my right to my opinion. So, not a religious holiday for me:)
Greed is universal hitting us humans when we least expect it. Wanting more stuff, more love, more, more, more, bigger, bigger, bigger, I want, I want, I want…well, let’s just say that the brilliant marketing executive that tapped into that fact and was able to use it to sell whatever was a smart smart person! I love presents, getting them more than giving them (that’s right, I’m not above admitting that I find it more enjoyable to receive than to give:)). At least, that’s what I used to find happening to me. I eventually got it; all that stuff was creating a lot of chaos and stress in me so, I’m past it now. Pared down, happy about reuse, recycle and remake as mantras for this modern world. I give all the stuff that clutter my home away to others that still have that need to fill the hole with crap in the hopes that they’ll feel better. Someday, they’ll “get it”.
So, I’ve covered nostalgia, religion and greed. What else is there? For me, it was an idea, sold to me over time throughout my childhood on television and in stories, about love, kindness, selflessness and friendship. Families on TV during that time were portrayed on shows like Father Knows Best, Leave It To Beaver etc. etc. (bet you can guess my approximate age now, right? LOL) They were part of my favourite shows as a child growing up looking to escape the reality of my life, and they gave me something to hope for. During the holiday season, people changed their public behaviour, because kinder, gentler more tolerant of others. They smiled at everyone and wished them Merry Christmas. Brought food and clothing to the poor. I figured those were pretty good things and wished people really were that way all the time. Then there was the friendship “definitions” widely accepted as the definitive rules of how to be a good friend. Accept your friend for who they are, give your friend what they need, watch over your friends so they don’t hurt themselves, take care of them, listen to them, give them everything you can. This one was very long in changing for me. The belief that there were actually selfless, loving, kind people out there, just waiting to meet me and be my friend, was heavily ingrained in my psyche. Never quite found yet never disproving that a true friend did not really exist. Mystery, an enduring one. Yes, not too long ago, maybe 6 or 7 years ago, I came to the realization that people are just people, all with needs and wants, doing whatever they can to make themselves just feel better. Even Mother Theresa, as selfless as she was touted to be, did what she did because it made her feel better. Ultimately, we all are looking for that. Make you feel good to give to the needy? Great! Make you feel good to cheer up the sad? Super! Does it make you feel good to do things that you think make you a good person? Fantastic! You are on your way to feeling great in your great life:) But what about those of us that just don’t buy into that, not really buy into it? What are we doing to make ourselves feel better? Drinking, fighting, drugging, sexing it up, pursuing any and all self-destructive paths we can find? Do we hate ourselves? I think not. We are punishing ourselves for not being what we’ve been brain-washed into believing we should be. Should is a stupid word that is banned from my own personal vocabulary! It is a dumb word and a dumb idea. I’m not an “immoral” person, I would not ever consider hurting someone just for the fun of it-that wouldn’t amuse me in the least. Inflicting pain is a definite no-no for me, almost impossible for me, even in self-defense, I tend to avoid that. Sustaining a friendship is way too difficult and I’ve never been able to show all the love I feel in my heart for the friends that I have had in the past. I’m not a touchy, feely person, not a generous here let me buy you this and give you that type of person. I don’t have the ability to express myself verbally, feeling tongue-tied oftentimes, even with people I’ve known forever. I usually feel like I’m on the outside looking in, slightly disconnected with those around me.
I like living in my head…everyone there understands me. (I read this somewhere and it stuck with me as amusing but true).
So, what’s my point? I am not extra stressed during the holidays anymore. I do not shop til I drop or go bankrupt trying to please and give everyone everything their hearts desire. I do not entertain (cause then I’d have to cook, and at the very least spend some amount of time in the kitchen…and you know where that takes me LOL). I do not go to ANY holiday parties (yes, people still invite me) and I do not HOST any holiday events. I buy my loved ones, children, spouse and grandchildren (that’s right, I became a grandmother at the age of 43). That’s it! I buy for no one else. Not even a tiny little box of chocolates, nothing nada. AND, I shop online for these gifts that I do give. I very rarely venture out into a mall or shops. So, as you can clearly see, I have no secret method nor do I have the answer to life’s eternal questions. But I do have the answer for me. I no longer suffer from any sadness during this season. I no longer suffer from stress during this season. I am able to look at the commercials and enjoy them for what they are, cause I know they won’t suck me in:)
I linked the song “Don’t Talk Down to Me” from YouTube saying it was appropriate after the morning I just had. Allow me to elaborate further and rant a little bit.
I “attended” a teleconference about “overcoming chronic overwhelm” because I am often feeling this when I procrastinate about projects or even just the little things I need to get done. This teleconference was by an ADD/ADHD coach with many years of coaching experience and expertise. In the past, when I have attended these types of teleconference classes and when I have read books about any such offer to help get past my quirks that bug me, I ended up with feelings of annoyance and felt somewhat irritable when it was over or when I finished reading the article or book. I wasn’t entirely sure WHY I felt like that every time, and I didn’t really spend much time analyzing my reaction. I just felt the irritability and moved on to more interesting things when those negative feelings passed. This morning, I finally clued in to the why. Here you go, my list that sounds very cynical LOL
1. Any free class is just a teaser to…
2. Sell you something, whether it be the person’s new book or their coaching services.
3. They only offer information, not real solutions so that you MUST buy whatever they’re selling in the hopes of getting the real complete answers.
4. It is a marketing trick to take advantage of curiosity and impulsivity…2 major weaknesses predominant in almost 100% of ADDers.
The “class” opens with this information; most ADDers suffer from a short fuse, time is a mystery, ADDers are stressed out easily. This information is presented as though it were NEW information, something we didn’t already know about! Then it goes on to say that “chronic overwhelm” is “burn out”. Isn’t that part of the definition in the dictionary? They “share” their belief that stress management = ADHD management. DUH! Their answer? Stress management means slowing down and making self-care your priority. REALLY?!? That the more stressed you are the harder it is to manage ADHD and the less stressed you are the easier it is to manage! OMG, I NEVER thought of that! That it is impossible to get rid of all stress completely and that some stress is needed to sustain you, but the stress needs to be low-level to allow you to be calm and centered. I’m pretty sure I read that in the millions of articles on stress! Stress management is the key to managing all other symptoms of ADD. Logical conclusion:) The following is their ideas on HOW to accomplish this:
a.) RELAX – Calm frantic stressed feelings with relaxation, which enables you to slow down. i.e. do something just for the sake of enjoyment when it’s not goal oriented. DID YOU NOT KNOW THIS?
b.) Mindfulness meditation sit quietly, or stand or walk around. By just being in the present moment it allows you to slow your mind and thoughts, to bring yourself into the present moment. Whirling thoughts are usually about the future (what will be done, how will something be done?) or the past (why did I do it?what was I thinking?), the present does not create whirling thoughts. I would say this is particularly true.
c.) Control your response to stress by stepping back to assess the situation (i.e. take deep breaths, walk, change your focus from the stressful situation to something mindless. All habits take time and repetition to “take hold as habits”. AGAIN, DUH!
d.) RELAX AGAIN (guess this is really important) – Take 30 minutes each and every day to just relax and recharge(do not play video games,watch tv etc., as those are just escapes)…schedule it in your to do list, your agenda, your calendar etc. until it becomes a needful habit, like smoking:)! You are allowed to begin by taking only 5 minutes and building up to 30 minutes. OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR PERMISSION TO START SLOWLY
d.) Self-care – is also just a habit for you to cultivate. You MUST take care of yourself BEFORE you can even consider being helpful to someone else! Uses the example of the oxygen mask in the plane and their instructions to use it before you try to help your child. To me, self-care is a bother, a chore, a duty, an obligation…not enjoyable! Even the basics, shower etc. are a bother to me! SIDE NOTE: These habits are supposed to happen organically but they don’t for me.
e.) Sleep – no sleep will increase ADD challenges and decrease your ability to control those challenges which will create burn out! Start winding down a couple of hours before you start to get ready for bed (computer, iPad and TV etc. are stimulating, so don’t indulge) NO SHIT, SHERLOCK! another sidenote: TV is not stimulating for me, reading is stimulating for me!
f.) Eat Healthy – whole foods and protein exercise are a must! PEOPLE don’t know this because they live under a rock perhaps? LOL
g.) Exercise – take a walk, or at least do some kind of movement. Yet another sidenote: (I hate exercise and movement in the city: not a problem when I am in the country)
h.) Hydrate – drink water throughout the day!
i.) Give yourself permission to do things that make you happy and give you joy. STATE THE OBVIOUS LOL
As an ADDer, I sort through volumes of this kind of information daily. Most people who have the means to own a computer, TV or access to a library have unlimited access to this sort of information that the experts “share” as a revelation. It sounds to me like they are talking “down” to people, dumbing down their presentation in case the audience is endowed only with less than average IQ. Like they are talking to an audience of 3 year olds. It is condescending. It gets my hackles up, makes me feel contrary and resistant to their suggestions. They don’t really say what is most important to people who are listening. That is HOW to do these things. They just state what is mostly common knowledge and obvious. Now I am almost 100% certain that I’m not the only one feeling like this! I am not the only one with these kinds of thoughts running through their heads as they listen to the experts, the therapists and the doctors.
All of the information above has been written with the help of the notes that I took during the teleconference, which I was able to replay whenever I needed to confirm that what I had written was indeed actually said.
Is there anything you didn’t already know in the above information?
Am I wrong to expect more from these so-called experts?
Am I just being a cynic?
A cranky bitch maybe?
No really, I am truly interested in knowing whether it’s just me or if my impressions are shared by many:) I swear. Honest. I’m always willing to improve LOL