Fibro,ADHD: Bore Myself to Death

Time passes slowly when alone with only myself to amuse me. So, I ordered a cheap guitar on Amazon 17!days ago and have been learning how to play Stand By Me with 4 simple chords and an e-z R & B strumming pattern. 

The tips of my left hand fingers have finally hardened enough to practice longer than 5 minutes😬

I can transition slowly from one chord to the next without consulting the tablature🙄

I wish I could play like Stevie Ray Vaugh…Eric Clapton…any blues player actually😅

I still want to put the cart before the horse even though I am long past the age of unrealistic expectations😊

Oh well, I’ll keep plugging along, because “practice makes perfect” and I’ve got nothing better to do😔

Besides, it’s not like I’ll ever play and sing in front of any real, live human beings😱

Fibro: Grief

9 years ago both my parents died. Dad first, then Mom. At Mom’s funeral I went over the edge.


I cried uncontrollably, was shocked by the pain I felt for losing parents I was so alienated from. I didn’t know what to do.


Instead of joining my siblings and cousins in the traditional “after-funeral party”, I left. Maybe I should have stayed….for support?


That was the beginning of the end for me. I went into a depression so deep I could no longer function (and remained ignorant of the cause). I went for medication, diagnosis and counselling. Not once did I mention how I felt about the death of my parents! Why? Because denial was strong enough to bury that truth, and it was buried deep!


So, here I am, 9 years later, just realizing on the 9th anniversary of my parents death what my problem has been. Talk about being out of touch! Sheesh! The trigger to my realization of what is going on was another posting by one of my siblings about how she missed Mom every day….this is from the person with the absolute worst relationship with my crazy-assed mother….and it pissed me off to no end, year after year of her saying how awful it was to miss her mother….they didn’t get along AT ALL! So hateful to each other, mean and nasty together. So I have bounced from denial, anger and depression ALL THIS TIME!


What the hell is wrong with me….to be SO OUT OF TOUCH with my own emotions? 

Fibro: My Feet Were The First To Go

Not only do I miss walking for miles and miles, I really miss cute shoes🙄

Fibro: Just One Good Reason Why?

Woke up, got out of bed and my feet protested loudly


No, I did not do much yesterday, mostly rested because it was a tiresome, high humidity rainy day. And, no, I did not take a middle of the night hike anywhere. 

So WHY are my feet so sore, tired, hot and burning after a nights rest? Any logical reason? 

Fibro: Positivity + ADD/ADHD

I have been in such a downward spiral for many months now. I blame it on Fibro but, I suspect it is all tied together with the ADD. Which is a bummer😔


This pic of brains on disorders is interesting, however, I often wonder, so what? So what if that disorder makes my brain different? How does that help me? 

Answer is, you can stop feeling guilty, blaming yourself for behaviour which is out of your control! 

Sure, there are many, many coping mechanisms available to accommodate all of our differences, but, bottom line is, you cannot cure it. You cannot rid yourself of this disability, you can only learn how to cope so you don’t hurt yourself or others.

Same goes for Fibro. Trying drugs to rid your body of the pain is frustrating, to say the least, and depressing. You become discouraged, leading to feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. 

But you’re not really helpless. You can find ways to lessen the pain, cope with lack of sleep and accept your new you.

Not a “new and improved” you, just a different you. More like the gracefully aging woman/man, rather than the “desperately trying to hide their age” woman/man. Those trying to hide who they really are become the fuel for all the cruel and senseless jokes out there.

Be graceful;  accept who you are, what you have become and where you are heading. Learn to love what you have instead of moaning and groaning about what you don’t have. It’s the only way.

Fibro: reblog from the Mighty

Fibromyalgia 24 Things No One Talks About

All True!!!!
https://themighty.com/2016/03/fibromyalgia-things-no-one-talks-about/

Fibro: Dead Tired + Music

My days spent layin’ around are great music days. Plug in the iPod, lay back and close my eyes while the iPod is on shuffle, playing random songs from my iTunes library. 


Every song brings me somewhere, and in my mind’s eye I am transported back to when I had energy, stamina and strength. While I would like to believe every day was a party, I know how untrue that is. At most, I had a few of hours of mad, wild dancing on a Friday or Saturday night, sometimes both nights. But, like everyone else I had my trials and tribulations, my responsibilities and my freakin’ boring job to fill the biggest part of my days.


Still, a girl can dream, right? I firmly believe every day should be a party, full of music, dance and living to the max. 


Who would have thought my reality would be this crappy? Not me. 

Fibro: Feeling Old Before Your Time

All the aches and pains makes you feel ancient before you are anywhere near being old😬

Fibro + ADHD: Boredom

I’m so boring I bore myself most days. 

Fibro: Paresthesia (Nerve Pain)


Or when some annoying person is getting on your last nerve 😬

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