Laws of Attraction theories

Some “experts” say we are subconsciously attracted to those that reflect back to us our own selves.  Really?  If that were the case, why are we not attracted to our own reflections in the mirror?  Why are so many people repulsed by what they see in the mirror?  Why are our reflections so distorted to us?  I am proof positive that I cannot and never have seen what I look like physically compared to everyone that has ever commented on my physical appearance.  Others see me oh so differently than what I see in the mirror.  I’ve checked.  When someone makes a comment on my appearance, I have checked in the mirror to see if I can see the same thing.  Nope.  No way.  No how.  Can’t see it.  Never have.  The image reflected back at me in the mirror and in photos is in no way similar to what they have described.  Are they deluded, or is it me?  I suspect it’s everyone else but according to the so-called experts they imply it is entirely me.  Hmmmm.

Some say we seek out that which is familiar, even destructive to us, like the abusive characteristics of parents i.e. the cold and unresponsive father figure, mean-spirited mother figure, etc…  I used to think this was bullshit until very, very recently.  I looked at someone close to me and saw the number 1 trait that my mother possessed and wielded like a sword.  Using it more than necessary and drawing blood frequently.  So, I would say this particular theory has some merit.

Some are attracted to those traits that we don’t possess but wish we did.  Our complete opposites.  Conundrum.  Do we somehow believe that those desirable traits that we envy will somehow rub off on us?  Like they are as contagious as the common flu.  Must we be reminded that anything contagious will either run its course and disappear when we develop the immunities needed to combat the virus, or it will be the end of us because it is too powerful and foreign.  Are people so delusional?  I’m not so sure.  I for one envy the ability in people to be organized with an affinity for time management.  I am very certain it will not rub off on me and it is not contagious.  I will not catch it and magically become a well-organized machine able to make my obligations materialize with little or no effort.  But, here is what I do know for certain.  Having a mate that is naturally inclined to organization and can estimate time passed as easily as I can jump from one thought to another, I can benefit from his ability.  His abilities make my like easier, less chaotic and less overwhelming.  Not fair to him?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  After all, whether I’m in the picture or not, he’s still going to organize his life and manage his time effectively.  What’s wrong with me being able to share that?  Especially if he’s generous enough to good-naturedly take on all those tasks that require those abilities.  Nothing wrong with that as far as I can tell.  Perhaps if he resented it there would be a problem, but then again, that would make him selfish, right?LOL  I’m lucky enough to have chosen to share my life with someone who did not want to change me, make me over in his image.  This has brought on another question in my mind that I have never found an answer to.

What the hell do I give him?  Can’t think of a thing really.  As a “wife”, in the conventional sense of the word, I’m a complete flop.  housewifely stuff just not my thing LOL  My sensitivity?  Well, he’s fond of saying he only has one feeling (which I’ve identified and don’t possess either) while I have SO many all-consuming intense feelings that it shuts me down often.  I’m not sure what that could possibly give him:)  Except a headache maybe!LOL  My quick wit, mostly unused intelligence?  He has his own wit and intelligence, different but possibly equal to my own.  My odd sense of humour, my sense of the ridiculous my inappropriate use of humour to ease the stress of a situation that becomes too much for.  Maybe that amuses him.  He certainly laughs enough most of the time, but not all of the time, particularly when the humour makes him the object and cause of the stressful situation.  This also happens a lot.

We certainly don’t have much in common.  He likes sports and intense activities.  I couldn’t hate that more.  He likes classical music, instrumentals being his favourite modern-ish day sound.  I like singers, words and heartfelt belting out of a song.  Current and new is exciting.  My iPod is my lifeline.  Music is my balm.  Not so with him.  I like television, dramas and comedies and talent shows that feature singers.  He loves the history channel, war stories in particular.  Those hurt my eyes and head.  I love to read, especially about the supernatural, stories that are meant to take you outside of your real life.  His reading material is pretty much like his television viewing.  We both love our children, we are both will rush to the defence of those unable to defend themselves.  My responses to situations are usually intensely felt, emotional in all reactions, good or bad-tempered by my gentle nature and inability to hurt others.  His responses are also intense, cold and hard, often radical in nature, raw and deliberately hurtful.  Makes me intensely uncomfortable when I am present on these occasions.  So uncomfortable that I disassociate.  Certainly keeps us on our toes you could say.  Cannot become complacent in this relationship when there is no way to know what will happen next:)

IN conclusion, I believe that the experts miss a lot when formulating their theories.  All of their findings and studies are tempered with what they find familiar.  They respond to certain reactions, understanding and clarity far more likely than when they don’t understand or cannot identify with a response or circumstance.  What they don’t understand they put down to pheromones.  A natural chemical a body produces to attract the opposite sex.  My question to that is what about the asexual?  Do they not produce any pheromones?  No answers worth repeating to that question.




4 responses

  1. Your lucky your husband laughs at you a lot. Mine gets very frustrated easily. He is completely opposite of me.

    1. My husband is the opposite of me as well, in everything! We have nothing in common; not music, movies, tv shows, social activities etc.! But he is a big fan of mine and I envy him all of his natural inclinations such as his time management and organization skills. He takes those necessities on as part of what he needs to do with good grace and a smile:) He takes me as I am, and I take him as he is. He has a great need for planning stuff while I am very impulsive and spontaneous. So, he will plan an outing and I will improvise something different on the way there or during the event if I find it’s too boring. He is always ready and open to my new “suggestions”…even when it makes his head spin or he can’t follow my “brain surfing” reasoning. We don’t sweat the little stuff and we don’t criticize one another. It has worked for over 30 years now so we must be doing something right!:)
      Maybe there’s a way you and your husband could learn to lighten up more often so that his frustration becomes less intrusive for you. I wonder if there’s a class or something to teach couples how to make their relationship easier? I think it would be worthwhile…I’m sure there are lots of couples with the same problems.

  2. i’ve never considered experts to be experts. what defines an expert? an educational degree in a particular subject area? so many years experience in a particular subject area? based on my experience, i could write a book called, “the fraudulence of experts and professional treatment.” x

    1. True enough Nicole. When it comes to the human mind the so-called experts with degrees are floundering like fish out of water, just like the rest of us. We all have as much experience as any expert. As flawed humans we accumulate experiences as we live with the various mind-bending thoughts, actions and observations necessary to get through life.
      The human mind and what propels us forward to act the way we do is a fascinating subject, with no apparent answers even after all these years of trying to find the definitive reasons behind some of the more incomprehensible actions people take.
      Something I never tire of but something that tires me out is trying to find the answers. My never-ending quest to find out the WHY has given me a lifelong interest in people observation. Whether it be people watching by looking, listening or reading their writings, I hear the similarities in all and observe the confusion in everyone.
      I love it and probably will not lose that interest ever:) The one and only constant in my life…and relief that I actually do have a constant in my life LOL

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