While my younger brother was here I was able to observe him, whereas previously, I was only able to feel the constant irritation he inflicted upon me. He’s such a pest!
Well, as it turns out, since I am on ADD/ADHD medication and it is working, I was able to see his actions as they related to ADHD…and me. Darn it. Problem is, we are so very much alike.
It came as a shock to me that I could be as incredibly annoying as this brother of mine that drove me around the bend in seconds! Not possible say I! I have always had so much control. Fantastic actress and pretender, no one could possible have noticed the out of control behaviour I see in my brother.
Delusional. That would be me.
Like me, my brother needs to have his things in front of him. In other words, out of sight out of mind.
I did not enjoy my one car ride with him because he drove too fast and his movements were not smooth. Plus, he is not overly fond of driving. I’m told my driving is exactly like that. And I don’t mind driving if all the other cars would just clear the road and let me through!
My brother has hundreds and hundreds of friends, always the life of the party and entertaining, he is popular. I always figured he just had to be the centre of attention all the time, camera hog that he has always been. And I believe his friends are not real friends, they are just acquaintances. Plus, at the age of 50 he decided to get married, even though he had plenty of serious relationships before that. I went through a period just like this, popular, tons of friends and being considered a blast, invitations to parties galore. I stopped. It was too much for me. So I started avoiding people and social situations, until I became what I am now, almost a recluse. Of course, I have a lot of “friendly co workers” but I do not socialize with anyone outside of work hours. And, I have had more than one marriage.
He never listens, interrupts constantly and answers before the question is even done! Seriously, drives me crazy. I do it all the time, and it did not stop with the medication…people still don’t talk fast enough, they don’t get to the point fast enough and I know what the question is…actually, I can tell ahead of time what the conversation will be.
He paces, jumps up and down frequently instead of staying in one spot, always somewhat agitated and never rests. Sleeps very little at night. Insomnia has been an issue for me for years and years and years. I’ve existed on as little as 3 hours sleep for 5 years before my crash and burn years. When I was younger, my family and I both believed that I slept a lot, 12 hours or more. In fact, it used to take me way too many hours to actually get to sleep, 4 or 5 hours all the time.
When he has a project he will wait and wait, put it off until it becomes more urgent. Yup. I do that all the time. But only if it’s not a fun project.
He has developed strategies to not be late. So have I. We are never late anymore.
His temper as a child was legendary. Quick to anger, easy to lose control, manifesting itself in frequent fighting. As a teen often resorted to violence as a result. Thank goodness he has a handle on all that now. Me? Well, I have the ability to swallow my anger, keep that frustration and irritation from spilling out of my mouth. The only sign…if you looked closely and knew me well, was the slight side to side movement of my head while I held myself in tight, rigid posture. Bobble head.
Everything becomes urgent for him eventually, but usually, I found him to be demanding, wanting something immediately and getting frustrated if it didn’t happen fast enough. I was of the opinion he was a spoiled brat, wanting his own way like that! When I want/need/ask something I expect it to happen instantly, immediately is too slow. I become disruptive and somewhat whiney when I do not get a response quick enough.
My brother more often than not doesn’t pay attention to what is happening around him, especially if people are talking. He has always said he does it on purpose to ignore people because he likes to bug them. I do it too, but not on purpose, because I don’t like to bug people. OK. Sometimes I like to bug people…but only when I’m bored.
My brother has had a lot of jobs, always job hopping, his true love being his music and always going back to that, reinventing himself each time. I have had so many jobs I cannot even remember them all! We have both tried many times to conform to traditional jobs with steady paycheques. We both learn quickly, get bored fast, become a bit cocky, think we can run all those companies better, then we get mad at someone and quit.
My brother has a fantastic memory for certain things. I have a good memory for a lot of things. Just not anything important. Or useful.
Careless mistakes, unfinished abandoned projects…there should be a graveyard for the amount of dead in the water projects left unfinished by my brother and me.
He is SO IMMATURE! Still retains that 3-year-old boy humour, laughing himself hysterical and imposing the annoying “funny” things on others, namely me. He won’t let up until he can no longer control his own laughter. Tears streaming down his face, holding his cheeks because his face is sore he disappears in the washroom…we can still hear him laugh like a loon, all alone in the bathroom. Me? Sure, I’ve had moments when something struck me as too funny, laughed hysterically until I was crying, sobbing actually, unable to stop. And I will even admit that I have found something funny and attempted to convince someone else it was funny. Always a disaster…for me. And annoying for the other person.
I guess I could go on and on and on for a very long time, but that would be….compulsive?
Point is, the brother that bugged me the most happens to be the brother that exhibits his ADD/ADHD symptoms like I do.
NO WONDER he bugged me…I used to bug myself!
Have I mentioned just how much I love my brother?
TOP Ten Manifestations of Adult ADHD according to any ADD/ADHD sites
- Reckless Driving/Traffic Accidents
- Marital/Relationship Problems
- Extreme Distractibility
- Poor Listening Skills
- Restlessness, Problems Relaxing
- Procrastination, Problems starting a Task
- Chronic Lateness
- Angry outbursts
- Prioritizing Issues
Part of my own endless list of recognizable ADD/ADHD and signs in my siblings
- Losing track of thoughts/ideas in the middle of tasks
- Missing details or making careless mistakes
- Inability to complete assignments work/school
- Difficulty following instructions
- Restless, contstantly shifting in chair, tapping feet or pencil playing or tugging at hair or clothing and unable to stop.
- Impulsive, childish i.e. Can’t stand waiting in line, constant interrupting, blurt out inappropriate comments, trouble anticipating consequences of their actions, change jobs frequently or have trouble keeping one, one task done well, the other done poorly, late, or incomplete, breezes through some things but can’t others,
- Self medicates with caffeine, cigarettes even street drugs
- Trouble staying in the present
- Hypersensitive…lights too bright, sounds too loud, touches irritating/annoying, smells too strong, motion sickness
- Social strangeness, ie. Life of the party or avoids social interactions, seems callus and insensitive to others often
- Short tempered, easily frustrated,
- No sense of time…overestimates or underestimates the amount of time it takes to complete any task, plans are vague or nonexistent
- Often extremely intelligent person that does “stupid” things
- Trouble focusing, spaces out often if not interested and can hyperfocus if they are interested
- Often have developed strange seemingly complex strategies to compensate their inabilities
- Laugh themselves silly…then cry
- Easily overwhelmed
- Impulsive and Compulsive
- Barely aware of how their behaviour affects others
- Insomniac or excessive sleeper
- No boundaries, often invades other’s personal space