Split in 2

I am 2 different people.  Split personality I believe it is called.

Split Personality (All-4-One album)

Split Personality (All-4-One album) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There is ME at work.

Then there is ME the rest of the time.

Split Personality

Split Personality (Photo credit: Green Heat)

Work ME is super efficient.  I often like Work Me better.  She gets SO much accomplished in a day.  And gets paid for it!  Amazing.  Plus, co-workers and employers like her.  They find her dependable, efficient, productive and a pleasure to work with.  They usually laugh at her jokes and the employers valueher as an employee, forking over the pay cheque almost happily.  Work Me often wins recognition and Valuable Employee awards/certificates.  Co-workers, for the most part, don’t even think she’s a brown noser, mainly thanks to her irreverent humour regarding authority and those in positions of authority.  When given a project, any project of any magnitude, Work Me throws herself into it 1000%, not stopping until it is completed in record time.  The only problem with Work Me is;  she uses up ALL of my energy.  Every last bit of it.

Whirlwind (novel)

Whirlwind (novel) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I even have a manual that I create for every job I’m in that has all of the step by step instructions to even the most inconsequential task (you know like how to turn on the computer, log in etc.).  I have this manual because I often forget these simple automatic actions while everyone else seems to just do as a habit.  This binder starts when I get trained because I have to write EVERYTHING down, every tiny step!

three ring binder

three ring binder (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If only these people saw my home or got a peek into my private life, they would be appalled and disgusted.

Português: Mulher expressando nojo. Expressão ...

Português: Mulher expressando nojo. Expressão do nojo. Artigo Nojo. Türkçe: Yediği bir yiyecekten iğrenen bir kişi. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Real Me, outside of the work environment, is usually physically exhausted. Too tired to pick up after herself.  Too disinterested in housework to bother picking up all the cat hair and fluffies that accumulate throughout the house.  My desk is completely covered in stuff.  I wouldn’t be able to write on a piece of paper at my desk because there is just not enough room for a piece of paper.  My closet is a jumble of shoes and other stuff on the floor, clothes half falling off hangers and OH What’s that? more dust bunnies!

Dust bunnies

Dust bunnies (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My kitchen is a disaster area, counters so full of dirty dishes it has to be organized before they can be washed.  Finding something in the cupboard is a treasure hunt.  Even my cats and dogs have to hound me aggressively to get fed every day.  And if they need water they must be extremely dramatic about it.  I have one overweight cat that is smart enough to know that if he is persistent enough every time I go in the kitchen I will feed him.  He’s overweight because I can’t remember I have already fed him 4 or 5 times that day.  Children love me because I am childlike when it comes to play time.  Play time takes precedence over chores always.  Needless to say, my children do not have any organizational skills taught to them by me.

Unwashed dishes in a sink; an authentic situation.

Unwashed dishes in a sink; an authentic situation. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have often wondered fleetingly why there is such a difference between the two ME’s.  I do know that work Me is not much fun to the Real Me.  She is actually pretty boring to ME.  And she sucks up all my energy for what really?  Money.  Yes, that’s right, money is the reason she is allowed to exist.  She is the one that goes out and earns money so I can live in a house, buy clothes and food and whatever else catches my fancy.

M type roof

M type roof (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So, Work Me is useful to me.  Soon, her usefulness will end.  When I retire I will no longer need her.

Abandoned (2010 film)

Abandoned (2010 film) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I wonder if my energy will return in retirement when Work Me is finally gone?

energy

energy (Photo credit: Sean MacEntee)

2 more months and I will be retired, 45 days after that I am supposed to receive my first pension cheque.

Retirement

Retirement (Photo credit: 401K)

Exciting.  I can hardly wait to see what will happen in the future!

Go to the Future

Go to the Future (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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6 responses

  1. stillstrange | Reply

    Are you married? My husband would definitely not put up with that. Well, plus, I am anal about two things here. Dirty dishes in the sink and papers on the floor. Last nite I had a horrible headache and had to leave dirty dishes in the sink. I felt terrible about it but I felt worse about my head pain. It does happen, but rarely.

    1. Yes I have been married for more than 30 years. And my husband has no authority “to put up with” anything I do or do not do. If dirty dishes and a messy house disturb his sensitivities then he is more than welcome to clean up. After all, all messy houses are messed up by EVERYONE that live in the house. There is no law that states I must be the one responsible for cleaning them all. Right?

    2. stillstrange | Reply

      I do hope my reply/opinion did not affect you the wrong way. Of course you are right in stating there your husband has no authority to put up with anything you do but he has a choice and I do believe that may have been or would probably be a marriage breaker for us. Plus, we have a different set-up when it comes to indoor/outdoor household responsibilities. No offense was intended in my reply, whatsoever.

      1. I find it bizarre that anyone in this day and age would buy into the mindset that household chores are a woman’s responsibility, particularly when women work full time jobs. Keeping house is a full time job in and of itself, add to that raising children which is another full time job, there is the perfect recipe for unfairness…resembles indentureship to me, even slavery. I do better with chores such as mowing the lawn, shovelling snow, laundry and so on. Organization is my weak point, so it doesn’t make sense for me to be responsible for anything like that. It’s his strong point, so why not make him responsible for what he is good at? To me, that is logical. The old traditional ways do not make sense to me at all.

  2. I rarely go into the kitchen, except to get coffee, or a glass of wine LOL Once I’m in the living room, the kitchen in out of sight. Out of sight means out of mind for me.
    And don’t get me started on the bathrooms! Cleaning those is just plain hateful LOL ADD/ADHD is not an excuse, it’s an explanation only.

  3. How do you live with that kitchen?? Haha, no offense. For me it’s the bathroom. I don’t mind cleaning my place, but the bathroom… I hate cleaning it for some reason. But I don’t have ADHD so no excuse.

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