5 Key Steps to EQ-#1

1.  Ability to reduce stress…by realizing when you’re stressed, identifying your stress response and finding the stress-busting techniques that work for you.

OK, so I need to work on step 1, big time.  Can someone get me a big flashing light and attach it to my stress response?

A blue flashing light. Français : Un gyrophare...

A blue flashing light. Français : Un gyrophare bleu (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

All part of self-awareness, I know.  I have no idea I’m stressed until it’s too late.  I’m already reacting physically and emotionally to whatever has caused this great big stress response in me.  I know, I know…I need BIGcues to recognize small things.  By the time I realize that I am stressed-out,  it’s too late to do anything but react.

English: Flashing "alarm" icon

English: Flashing “alarm” icon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The time to cut off the source of stress has long past and I’m at the mercy of whatever physical reaction my body is having which in turn triggers an emotional response.  Usually anger.  At myself.  For not recognizing what was happening to me.  From frustration at missing the clues once again. Then I berate myself for not getting it…something so damn easy and I miss it completely.  Totally unaware that the situation, the same situation, will make me bug out.  That’s right, in retrospect, I know it’s everyday situations that I do not excel at but continue to attempt and fail each time that frustrates me.  I realize the difference between symptom and behaviour…symptoms of ADHD cannot be changed but behaviour CANBE CHANGED.  I keep trying to accomplish something simple, something normal people do without a second thought, but keep failing, which just pisses me off.

Twisted Metal 2

Twisted Metal 2 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hard headed…sure, I get that.  Intellectually I get it.  But the combination of childhood conditioning, tenacity and willfullness along with forgetfulness has put the habit of keep trying until it happens into my DNA.   I even am smart enough to try different ways to accomplish those mundane tasks that frustrate me so much.  Alas, it just doesn’t happen for me.  I lose.  Yet again.  I hate that.  So much.

English: Ligand in minor DNA groove. Picture c...

English: Ligand in minor DNA groove. Picture created by Abalone program. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What to do?  I’m not really sure.

The tip says to recognize when my body starts to feel the stress, tightened muscles is a big one.

Ha!  Tightened muscles are an all day thing for me.  All day and all night.  I’m pretty tensed up most of the time.  As a matter of fact, I cannot identify a time or moment when my body is relaxed.  Even when I’m sleeping my body is tense and my sleep is restless.  I used to follow that popular trick all the experts push all the time…deliberately tense up each individual muscle, starting at your toesand working your way up to the top of your head.  Tense it up, relax, tense, relax moving up and up until your body relaxes.

Haute Tension

Haute Tension (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

To be honest, it worked for a short time.  Ok.  It worked a couple of times.  Then, when I would tense a part of my foot, it would cramp up.  Yikes!  Painful!  Not only was it painful but disruptive to any kind of relaxation that may happen in bed.

English: The foot of a person with Charcot-Mar...

English: The foot of a person with Charcot-Marie-Tooth. The lack of muscle, high arch, and hammer toes are signs of the genetic disease. This patient was diagnosed with CMT-1A. Deutsch: atrophischer Hohlfuß bei hereditärer motosensibler Neuropathie I (Charcot-Marie-Tooth) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Toes curling in agony I’d be rolling off the bed to hit the floor and try to massage that foot cramp out so my toes would uncurl, swearing and whining to boot.  Funny?  Oh yeah, it’s funny.  At the same time, it frustrates me.

More deformed toes

More deformed toes (Photo credit: Rachel D)

Now, I just don’t bother trying to relax the muscles in my body.  I’m content with relaxing the brain muscle so I can fall asleep.  That has become my top priority in life…sleeping.

Koala sleeping on a tree top

Koala sleeping on a tree top (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sleeping is good.  Sleeping is great.  Sleeping is the best thing since sliced bread.

English: cadifus

English: cadifus (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Can I skip step 1 and move on to step 2?  We’ll see next time.

Cover of "The Cheater (Fear Street, No. 1...

Cover of The Cheater (Fear Street, No. 18)

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2 responses

  1. I know…high school was a pain, or rather, the teachers and the vp were a pain, constantly reminding me how smart I was and how dumb I was acting:) Talk about mixed messages, right? Thankfully I’m arrogant enough to brush them off most of the time LOL

  2. Been there, do that. Without my ADD med I’m a tested and verified 168 IQ disappointment. Back when I was in high school a genuine disorder as not even a thought. It angers me now what a vice-principal once admonished me with: “with your intelligence you should be a valedictorian candidate. But you fail to be because of your refusal to take day-to-day living seriously.” When I read this post that moment immediately came to the fore: he was right about the day-to-day; wrong about the refusal. Dead wrong. If the knew how hard I tried at the “day-to-day” every minute of every day he might well apologize. The one thing that got me praise was foreign language: I now speak four.
    And off meds I’ll disappoint or piss you off in all of them. It’s like needing eyeglasses for 34 years and being blamed for farsightedness.

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