Learning to appreciate yourself is not easy.
The first step is learning to appreciate others.
Best example I can come up with is at work, with my new team.
I’ve only known them for 3 months. In that short time I’ve gotten to know them by observing them. Their work habits, how they interact with one another and how they have welcomed me as part of their team.
Some of them are hard-working, nose to the grindstone while at their desks. I can relate to that mindset. It makes the day go by much faster and limits personal intrusions by co-workers.
I see their future. Something is missing. Just a matter of time before they become like the next group.
In this group, some of them are just killing time, pushing the limits of tolerance for being lazy-assed, unmotivated and uninspired. Waiting for what, I’m not sure. They find the days long and barely tolerable. By the time the afternoon rolls around their shoulders are hunched, backs rounded and heads drooping. Eyes dull.
I see serious repercussions in their near future.
The next group is appreciative. Happy to have a decent paying job that gives them a sense of accomplishment. They don’t work constantly, they don’t overdo anything. Job satisfaction is apparent in their demeanor.
I see people well suited for their jobs.
They all welcome me for different reasons.
I bring newness to their day. I make them laugh. Yes, even the dull-eyed ones laugh at my antics. Even the nose-to-the-grindstone ones welcome the short break from their routines because it is pleasant. And the ones that are well-suited for their jobs are just naturally social, welcoming the opportunity to get to know someone new.
They all present a facade in their work environment. Some do this to protect their vulnerability, some do it appear more ambitious than they really are and the others do it to be civilized.
I no longer present a facade. They all know what they see is what they get with me. This suits me immensely. It takes far less of my energy to be myself than it does to be what is expected.
I speak my mind. Good thing my mind does not harbour dark thoughts. I doubt I’d be welcomed if I spoke about the dark, negative shadows some people have. Instead, a lot of what I say is nonsensical. It’s funny. My ADD/ADHD mind brings a lot of amusement to the masses LOL And to me.
I’m good with that.
I feel lighter, free to be me, warts and all.
Monday is my last day of work. I’m looking forward to that. A lot!