Unacceptable Depression

I restarted taking antidepressants about 2 weeks ago. Very reluctantly I might add. Not that I think there’s anything wrong with taking meds for depression.

Evidently that statement applies to how I feel about other people taking meds. Not for me. huh

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like they don’t work, to a certain degree at least, but meds are not a cure. They just give you enough relief from the dark cloud crushing your very soul so you can help yourself.

And that’s the part I wasn’t accepting…that I cannot beat this clinical depression that sucks every ounce of my physical energy until I am little more than a legume.

I wonder sometimes why needing help, asking for it and accepting it is so incredibly repugnant to me?

Anyone have any idea why that is?


2 responses

  1. I don’t know but I’m feeling the same way. considering getting back on antidepressants after years off of them. Maybe its because like you said, they don’t take away the depression, just dim it a bit. I hope you feel better soon. Don’t beat yourself up for wanting relief, be proud for taking care of yourself.

    1. Thank you “Roots”, I appreciate the thought. I have somewhat accepted the fact that I may have to take anti-depressants for the rest of my life. I guess as long as they allow some rational thought and help control the dark thoughts I can be OK with.
      Hopefully I’ll remember it’s the pills and not think I’m “cured and don’t need them anymore”. ADD makes the remembering stuff pretty tricky😄

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