Yet I always have this little voice in the back of my mind that tells me we are really made of steel. Unbreakable and strong, no matter how much battering our minds and bodies receive. My own past has proven that fact to me many, many times.
When I look way back to my beginnings, it strikes me that even though I had major shitty 💩 beginnings that lasted til I was 25, I turned my life into something beautiful. You’d think abandonment, constant physical and mental abuse, drug abuse, juvenile detention, rapes and just the everlasting violent nature of my life would have shattered me to beyond repair. I was determined to rid my life of all that crap, and I did.
I’m not saying I didn’t have major issues with all that, especially with all the wasted years fighting my own tender heart in order to avoid any further pain. Wasted effort, wasted time and energy all that, trying to be something you’re not.
Finally realizing and accepting that life really is unfair, I had to make the most of all those hard lessons learned, gave myself time to learn trust, accept love and, above all, give love. I became convinced me that I’m not shattered, just cracked😜
All my pity parties are accompanied by upbeat music to feed my true essence. Feeling sorry for myself and feeding that despair with sad music just delays the inevitable: I will get over it, this momentary feeling of doom and gloom😭. Eventually, the pity dissappates and my mind/heart starts groovin’ to the beat.🎶
Then I start to sing along,🎤, much to the despair of those within earshot LOL
Oh well, better to hear me sing and see me try to bop around to the tunes than to hear me moan, groan and cry I say.