Fibro/ADD:Nighttime Dreamer

I have been a lifelong dreamer when sleeping. My dreams have always been very intense, very active and very meaningful to me, always remembered and never forgotten.

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As a child, my recurring dream is my most clear-cut memory of those days. While almost all traumatic events of my childhood are locked away in the deepest recesses of my mind, this recurring dream is predominant when looking back.

In this dream, I was always still a child, with my younger siblings gathered behind me for their protection against my mother. She is represented as an evil witch in this dream and I am the one that manages to put her into her own boiling cauldron while my siblings cry and cheer around me. This dream apparently was just a representation of the most fearsome woman in my life, who, indeed, was my mother.

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Once I had left that situation, at the age of 14, my dreams changed and became variations of me being a karate/Kung fu type of vigilante, always winning fights to protect other women from the bad guys. These dreams apparently meant I was in urgent need to be saved from neglect, danger and the overwhelming situations in my life. Having been raped a few times, the drug abuse and so on would certainly indicate that the dream interpretation was correct.

 

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Without any interpretations of my dreams in those days, all they really gave me was HOPE.

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As I grew older, mid-twenties to my forties, I continued to be the bad-ass fighter, always protecting others from bad guys, saving the day for strangers and loved ones. I was a female version of Jet Li.

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Now that I am older, I am a more refined warrior in my dreams, able to save everyone in any kind of situation. I think that is kick-ass, don’t you agree?

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I’m No shrinking violet in my dreams! Just one look at me and those guys are on the run, but I chase ’em down and they don’t have a hope in hell of winning😄

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All this fighting makes for great dreams for me, and nightmares for my sleeping partner…cause I am told I’m actually acting out all that fighting in my sleep, landing painful, unpleasant surprising direct hits on my partner in bed. My poor husband can certainly claim spousal abuse in the night LOL

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Collateral damage in my war against injustice I say😄. I am a superhero in my sleep, and I love that a lot!

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Interestingly enough, all these superhero, bad-ass fighter dreams really are just symbols of supposedly above-average talents, ideas and other hidden strengths that I am unaware of possessing and am not using in real life. For whatever psychological reasons, I live my life as the alter-ego of a superhero, timid, quiet, appearing normal so as not to stand out in a crowd or not do anything worth mentioning. I am supposed to stop hiding my light, let it shine.

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But to be honest, I’m not sure I want to give up my dream self; would you?

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